Honesty is often very hard. The truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying. — Fred Rogers
Saying our truth shouldn’t be hard, because as they say “the truth will set us free” But, do we want to be free?
Many of us prefer to live in our bubble and to avoid being confronted by the consequences of our actions, or in this case our words. But the truth is that we are probably afraid of the judgement we may get, the loss of privileges, or our “status” etc.
We often have big and small lies. Like the so called “white lies” we tell our spouse, friend or colleague, to sugar coat or not hurt their feelings. Or the bigger lies that can be deceitful of our true identity.
We typically conceal the truth for different reasons.
Not getting our immediate wants:
If our “wants” get threatened that’s when we feel the need to protect it by lying. We learn this very early on as children, with something as simple as a child saying, “I did not eat that cookie”. Now, if we get away with the lie, we learn that this is a quick fix to getting what we want.
So what happens when we do get our immediate wants. Then we don’t get to see the instant repercussions of our actions. Which seems like a win-win situation. But we are just prolonging the consequences of our actions, and affecting others emotionally. We all know how it feels like to be lied to. It’s not the most pleasant feeling.
Avoiding consequences :
As humans we seek more rewards than consequences. We are drawn to get something in return, usually something that is positive. It does not feel good to be punished for something we did or said. Naturally, we will avoid this at all cost. That is why lying can almost be a reactive response.
To get the admiration of others:
As social beings, we like to be liked by others. Some people may go to the lengths of deceiving and lying in order to charm others. We may exaggerate our social status or accomplishments, in order to get other’s approval. We may conceal our true feelings and thoughts in order to “protect” the other person.
Last thoughts:
Being truthful is one of the most integral parts of our character. I believe in essence we want to be truthful, but the reasons mentioned before can stop us.
I will end by saying that of course I have lied and will most likely lie again. Not trying to judge myself or others with this post.
I invite you to think of why you lied, the next time you do. I know I certainly will.
